New York's Fashion Week has been held iin Bryant Park since 1994. This year for some unknown reason they moved Fashion Week to Lincoln Center on Manhattan's Upper West Side. Here are my reasons why I think this was an awful mistake.
10. Call it the "Yupper West Side", "Stroller City" or a "Culinary Wasteland" if you will. The Upper West Side is charming albeit not hip and happening. It may even be boring. Too boring. But it took the relocation of the Fashion Shows for me to finally appreciate the mundane. Cops are stationed at my subway station. Rude nasty fashionistas and their midtown attitudes own our quiet streets. And Starbucks is now crowded. Go home!!!!!
9. In Style magazine is sold out at the flagship Barnes and Noble??!!!
8. Bag Envy. Chanel. Gucci. Marc Jacobs . And the alien Birkin on the UWS? You girls stand out like sore thumbs. And I am jealous of you. Go back to midtown!
7. Carrie Bradshaw look-alikes. I was walking down Columbus in my Joe's Jeans and trendy sparkly Anthropologie eighty- dollar tank top accessorized by some Gucci shades. And I felt FRUMPY!
6. The Fashion Week tourists teetering on Manolos annoyed at ME for telling then Lincoln Center is SOUTH of 67th street.Not my fault you can't walk in your heels!
5. Which leads me to.. Shoe Envy.
4. While leaving my favorite local Juice Bar,( crowded with fasting fashionistas) , I pass an Anna Wintour look-alike in the doorway. As I pass, she says in the most obnoxious Brittish accent " You are so GRACIOUSLY WELCOME." Have your driver take you back to 7th Avenue,and eat something. Bitch.
3. Everyone makes me look fat and you can't park anywhere.
2. They Leave their copies of Woman's Wear Daily EVERYWHERE!
1. No gratuitous admission for us boring ,frumpy Upper West Side residents. it's ok, I will be watching on TV.Maybe even with my nice neighbors.