Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Bed Bugs at Bloomingdales? Part Two

My fall wish list. New Hunter Rain Boots. A warm (but not too warm) fall coat. New Boots. Suede, Leather. Maybe a wedge heel. Maybe above the knee, despite the fact that some people think the OTK look is very Julia Roberts a la Pretty Woman, or in other words, "Slutty". Maybe I will get all of the above!!!

Why? Because of Friends and Family Sales. Lord and Taylor gave their friends 25%. Saks 20%. (not that much when you think of the price of the store items!)Overwhelmed by the opportunities, and challenged by a low credit limit, I was debating where I can seek my coveted items.

At the end of the day, one my colleagues asks what I have decided. Easy answer: the place with the “Secret Sale.”

“Bloomingdales! I am going to Bloomingdales!” I announce proudly with decisiveness.

Bob, another coworker, looks up, as he is putting on his coat and matter-of -factly says:

“They found a beg bug in Bloomingdales."

"There are bed bugs in Bloomingdales? Impossible!"I screech in horror

Not Bedbugs. A bed bug." He says.

“ONE, singular (AND if I may add, not so sensational) BED BUG?” I ask.

“That’s right. One single bedbug. It was in the news.”

I tell him that is BS and I don’t believe it. It is in a nice neighborhood!

He tells me to check out

Bed bugs have registries? Huh? Well, I guess, if I registered I Bloomingdales, so could a bed bug. I mean they do have a great home section. I research it and lo and behold there is an article, that states a beg bug was found and removed from Bloomingdales. One bed bug.

I will be damned if one bed bug prevents me from shopping in a high –end store. I mean does one fly keep you out of your favorite restaurant?

So I trek out of the office chilled to the bone in my spring coat to Bloomingdales. Vermin will not deter me from my mission. No way and no how!

So I saunter through the gold doors and bask in the bright lights of my favorite store. I caress the cashmere sweaters, linger longingly over the leggings and stroke a pair of suede boots like it is my childhood pet. I even drape my arm with a carload of items to try on. (So what if I don’t have a car).

So, I get to the dressing room and am frozen. I can’t go in. I have visions of nasty little bloodsucking critters devouring me. What if there was more than one? What if I get welt-like bites all over my body? What if I bring them home and have to throw out tens of thousands of dollars of mission furniture?

So I left Bloomie’s empty handed, vermin free, several hundred dollars short of my credit limit and without hooker boots.


  1. You're funny;) Maybe you should try the Bloomy's on Rt. 4, I'm pretty sure there aren't any bedbugs there!

  2. "it is in a nice neighborhood". Hilarious. Good luck with the boots.